On or Off? I'm not a light switch.

I grew up in the fat free 90's, and was in grad school in the carbo-phobic 2000's. Most of the women in my life were (and are) ON or OFF diets all the time, and I fell victim in my teens and 20's.
As Scott Abel (www.scottabel.com) has said, I was looking for the 'sizzle' and not the 'steak'.  I wanted my weight loss plan to begin with an expensive box of glittery weekly menus, power foods, rules, and regulations.  I wanted to start on a Monday and see results by Friday.  Not sure how many weeks slipped by where that plan was in place, but there were a lot of them.  The diet would lose its mystique and I would want a beer or a burger, which meant I was OFF plan.  I couldn't get back ON plan until Monday, for fear of screwing it up again and failing... again.
The fact is that we don't live in an environment where villainizing a certain food or food group is going to work long-term.  If you don't see yourself abiding by your current glitzy, glamorous, start-on-a-Monday food rules until you're 80 -- you're "ON" the wrong plan.
I've said that same thing to many, many clients - all of them highly intelligent people, but some just don't believe that, as un-sexy as it sounds, moving more and eating a little less is going to work over time.  Somehow, even the smartest smarties are still looking for a gimmick or a restriction.  Some restrict carbs or wheat. Some believe (as Dr. Adkins said long ago) that they can eat endlessly as long as they only eat certain foods from certain food groups. My belief is that the ones who seek the restriction are looking to be hailed as food martyrs while the gimmick-seekers are still trying to find a way to stuff their faces without consequence.  There is a consequence to both stances: no maintainable long-term habits OR results. How do I know?  Been there, done that.
There are some exceptions.  Folks who have a certified food allergy or diagnosed/well established intolerance for dairy, soy, corn, wheat, tree nuts or food dyes.  Cool, man.  Do your thing.  You've got a HEALTH-RELATED reason to shun certain things.  For those seeking simple weight loss - you don't HAVE to jump through those hoops if you don't have a HEALTH-RELATED reason.  If you enjoy an occasional beer or burger like I do, do it - but be accountable for it.
On the accountability front, I've been counseling my clients to journal their food.  For 80% of them, I've given them no 'shiny glamorous magical mystical diet plan'. They just log their food and exercise, stay within a weight loss appropriate calorie range, and voila! Those who stick with it daily are experiencing relatively EASY attainment of physique goals, without having to avoid bread, red meat, or the occasional fro-yo (guilty!). They aren't imprisoned by their food.  They aren't ON or OFF a plan.  They eat well and workout.
As a person who has participated and witnessed a LOT of fad dieting in the last 32 years, I vowed, when I was prego with Tyson, that I would never be ON or OFF a plan again.  I understand food metabolism, calorie consumption, and fat storage.  There are no loopholes to hard science. Calories in, calories out.  If you eat healthier foods, you eat fewer calories and feel more satisfied. By journaling your food, you make the smarter choices because you WANT to, not because a TV personality told you to.
The way you think about food is important - even if the 'mechanics' look the same on paper, a person who enjoys their food because it tastes good and makes them feel healthy is going to stick to their plan more effectively than their friend who eats a certain way because 'she has to stay ON plan'.   Think about it. Mindset determines behavior.

So THAT'S what I've been missing

Being a parent has taught me a lot in a few short months. Parenthood has given me a new role to play, new responsibilities, and a lot more happiness. Being happy makes you feel good, confident, worthy, and fulfilled. Skinny doesn't. I always thought that being thin would make me happier and more confident. It's just the opposite... finding happiness made me feel more confident in my own skin than ever before. I'm not saying you have to have a baby, but you should really look into the whole 'happy' thing. I highly recommend it. When I thought skinny would make me happy, I used to obsess about what I ate and how much I worked out. Everything was meticulously planned out, each gram of protein accounted for, each body part worked at least once a week, mile times recorded, i's dotted, t's crossed. Back then, I thought deviating from the plan was just me being weak. Try harder, Leigh Ann. How badly do you want it? When I found out that the overexercising, over-planning and regimented diet were the reasons that I couldn't get prego, I gave in and let go... for the most part. My weight was climbing, and while I knew that was a 'good' thing fertility-wise, I had BIG TIME trouble letting go of my physique ideals. I thought I'd lose clients. I thought I'd lose credibility. I thought wrong. No, literally... my thinking WAS wrong. Fear was freaking me out, and there was no evidence to support any of the things that worried me. My thinking wasn't just wrong... it was vain and immature. Beyond that, it was unhealthy. That is why my body was screaming at me to deviate from the plan, eat more, and exercise less. Finding out that I was pregnant changed my attitude towards food completely. When I became responsible for that little baby, I started thinking about the quality of the things that I was eating, not just the grams of protein or the calories. Also, portion control came more easily since I wasn't constantly starving. I could eat 1 slice of pizza instead of 5 or 6, which would happen a lot if I went 'off plan' when I was competing. Fortunately, these abilities have stayed with me. Although I'm still not, and will never be, a size 4 again, none of my fears have come true. I'm still a trainer, I still work with all my clients, and I'm still credible. I weigh 144 lbs. I like who I am. I like the way I look. I like that I don't have to think so much about my food and my workouts as I used to. I like exercising for FUN! I like my new confidence. I like that I'm a mom. I like the new CALM. I have now lost 40 lbs twice in my life (granted, this one involved a baby!). I'm still 30 lbs higher than my competition weight. And I will be. Forever. For me, being that small is not healthy - and being healthy is something that I want to model for my clients and my kiddo.